April 2006
9 posts
1 tag
Rejected Jokes are a-coming
On Thursday night I taped an entire month worth of rejected jokes. Thanks to Greg Tuculescu and Chris Cooper for filming everything. If Greg finds the time to edit, the first week of jokes should be up sometime on Monday. Here are some things I will try to do every month with the rejected joke videos - Every month a new person/group will make up the theme song that I come out to. This month it is...
1 tag
Instant Gratification
Dear David Chase, Now that the Sopranos is back on air, I am reminded how much I hate waiting seven days for new episodes of TV shows. I much rather rent an entire box set of a series and watch all of the episodes in sequential order. I did it with the Office (British Version), Freaks and Geeks and seasons 1-4 of the Sopranos. These have become some of my favorite TV shows of all time. The Cast...
1 tag
Taping rejected jokes tonight
Tonight at the UCB Theatre in NYC, I plan on taping a bunch of my rejected jokes from May ‘05. I’ll edit the footage into five different segments and release a batch every Monday in May ‘06. I wasn’t sure if it would be better to do it with or without an audience, so for this month I’ll do it without an audience and see how it comes out. Once a month I will have a...
2 tags
Sea-Monkeys
When I was growing up I really wanted Sea-Monkeys but was never allowed to get them. So, now that I am a grown man, I looked into buying some Sea-Monkeys for my apartment. After minutes of research, I realized how disgusting these things really are and how deceiving the advertising was. When I was a kid, this was the way Sea-Monkeys were publicized: Mother Sea-Monkey - “Who has the greatest...
2 tags
Random Google Image Search 1
I love to put random words or phrases into google image search and see what pictures show up on the first page. Here are today’s finds- “Hero”: Although he may be tough on the little guy, Darryl has a heart of gold. “Relax”: After a long day of beating my wife, I like to slip into my favorite thong and just chill. “We did it”: The Asian equivalent of...
1 tag
Sorry, I can't get you a job freelancing
People have been emailing me asking if I could get them a freelancing job for Letterman, SNL or any other place. Unfortunately, the answer is no. Sorry, I wish I could but I am not allowed to give out any contact information or I would get in trouble. People were also curious how I got started, here is the story - (Opens fairy tale book) Once upon a time I was walking by the Ed Sullivan Theatre...
1 tag
Holograms, Dreams and Tears
When I was younger, I played a lot of video games…but only one blew my mind one day and disapeared from my life the next. Sega had a hologram arcade game called Time Traveler and although the storyline made little sense and the game play was horrendous…it was a freakin’ hologram video game. Time Traveler description - “You must navigate cowboy Marshall Gram through the...
Mouse Trap
I wonder what the person who invented mouse trap is doing right now. (Looks up at sky…Dream sequence begins here) The music in the background of this video sounds like a cartoon is trying to finish a test with only minutes remaining. Also, you will want to stop watching after two minutes…but you won’t stop watching…you will never stop watching…
1 tag
Game Plan
Every week I hope to post a set of my rejected jokes. This way I don’t feel like I completely wasted my time by writing jokes that no one will ever hear. The jokes will be taken from that month…a year ago. You may be asking yourself - Ben why don’t you use one of the many jokes that got on air? Well, anything that is used on air is no longer my property. Now you are thinking -...