Assorted Jelly Beans- The Rooster’s Speech

Here is the seventh installment of Assorted Jelly Beans, the one panel comic written by myself and brilliantly illustrated by Steve Dressler. I give you, The Rooster’s Speech.

Assorted Jelly Beans- Freddy Krueger

Here is the sixth installment of Assorted Jelly Beans, the one panel comic written by myself and brilliantly illustrated by Steve Dressler.  In this installment, we cover the quick fix to taking care of Freddy Krueger.

Previous Assorted Jelly Beans-

Sweep the Leg

Gizmo Gone Wild

Edward Scissorhands

Babar

Debate

Assorted Jelly Beans - Gizmo Gone Wild

Here is the fourth installment of Assorted Jelly Beans. The one panel comic written by myself and brilliantly illustrated by Steve Dressler.

Assorted Jelly Beans - Scissorhands

Here is the third installment of Assorted Jelly Beans. The one panel comic written by myself and brilliantly illustrated by Steve Dressler.

MY ESSAY IN ESPN THE MAGAZINE

ESPN the magazine contacted some of the actors from Mayne Street for essays on what it was like working on the show.

The stories are running in this week’s NBA preview issue.  My original submission was far too long for the magazine’s layout, so they made me cut it in half.  But, thanks to the internet, I can copy and paste my original essay right here.  Notice how my piece doesn’t promote or teach you anything about the show. Enjoy!
KENNY MAYNEby Ben Schwartz
Upon getting hired for Mayne Street, my purpose was clear.  I was to find an answer to the question that has haunted sports fans for years. Is Kenny Mayne a robot?
Like an android fox, KMayne played the game well. He concealed his red terminator eyes with Oakley shades, attributed his mechanical walking to sports injuries and played his monotone voice off as “dry wit.”  But even the slyest of android foxes make mistakes. Kenny would use ancient terms like “tackle football” exposing his poorly updated robot dictionary and on August 5^th he made the biggest mistake of all…he mistook me for a friend.
The cast invited Kenny for a swim down at ol’ Bristol Lake. He adamantly declined. With a friendly smile I shouted, “Don’t worry, the lake won’t rust your robot joints.” Kenny replied, “Really?”  There was silence.  Everyone stared.  It was over, we sports fans had found our answer.  Kenny’s feet turned into rockets and he flew away for eternity.
Now, in this Mayne-less world, I find myself watching Sportscenter blankly. Oftentimes I look up at the sky and reminisce about Kenny.  I guess some questions are better left unanswered.

Mayne Street premieres November 11th on ESPN.COM.

Photo Hunt #3

Welcome to the third installment of Photo Hunt.  You know the drill, spot the differences between the two pictures.  The answers are below the second image, so make sure to really study the pictures and write down your answers before you scroll all the way down.

Picture 1



Picture 2


Scroll down for the answers……………….Don’t cheat.  The answers are just below……………….Answers - The guy in Picture 2 has a lisp.

Photo Hunt #2

Welcome to the second installment of Photo Hunt.  You know the drill, spot the differences between the two pictures.  The answers are below the second image, so make sure to really study the pictures and write down your answers before you scroll all the way down.

Picture 1


Picture 2


Scroll down for the answers……………….Don’t cheat.  The answers are just below……………….Answers - The guy in Picture 2 hates the movie Armageddon.

Check out Photo Hunt #1.

Assorted Jelly Beans - Babar

Here is the second installment of Assorted Jelly Beans - the one panel comic series written by me and brilliantly illustrated by Steve Dressler.

Babar

Assorted Jelly Beans - Debate

Here is the first installment of Assorted Jelly Beans written by myself and brilliantly illustrated by Steve Dressler.

Debate

Assorted Jelly Beans

Along with the help of artistic mastermind Steve Dressler, I am experimenting with a new segment on RejectedJokes called Assorted Jelly Beans.


A rotting diabetic corpse lay beneath the colorful beans.

Assorted Jelly Beans is a one panel comic written by me and brilliantly illustrated by Steve. Although not nearly as genius, when it works well you should see influences from the Far Side and Robot Chicken. We’ll be experimenting with styles at the beginning to see what works and what doesn’t but if you dig it, let us know and we’ll make some more.